Sunday, October 21, 2007

Tough love

We have forgot how to tough love, somewhere along the point of trying to create the safest environment for kids to grow up in we forgot how much life sucks at certain point.

We raise up our kids with an idealistic expectation from the world, where everyone is honest and no one gets hurts. we shield our kids from the slightest of harms and encapsulate them in a bubble till they are ready to get married.

Kids growing up nowadays are really a sorry bunch, they are getting ready for the shock of their life once they start to look life in the face. It's entirely different to the view painted by their parents on how life should be. For they are the most beautiful, intelligent adorable and utterly one of a kind children that need admiration from everyone they meet because its just what they are accustomed to. then comes life to ruin everything and they find out the truth that there are more beautiful, adorable, intelligent and truly exceptional kids in the world, and they are not all winners. poor kids !

Not just in that sense, we forgot to tough love in the sense that kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. Kids are supposed to go out and play, break stuff, get hurt, bust a leg, get in trouble, feel sick and get dirty ! We raise kids in a highly sanitized universe thats about 500 square, the meters in size, the lucky ones get to play in their back yard. if they dare to do anything remotely dangerous and fun they need to be crippled with protection and pads, and if they do it anyways. oh boy if they dare to climb a tree, for instance, they are going to be reprimanded HARSHLY. I just love this next bit, whenever there was a kid in the class that used to be active and the life of the class the comment was that he was a lively and social kid and he used to be tolerated and even admired at times. now that kid is run over by doctors and diagnosed with ADD along with other fun acronym and his system is overloaded with pharmaceutical drugs to conform to our view of idealism -_-'

We seem to have forgot that without those experiences of failure, pain and the pleasure of earning successes and conquest we are robbing the kid of one of the most important character development tools. We are restraining kids to a limited reality were we teach them that they are the best and if they are hurt by the rest of the world then that world is just jealous of them and they can always defer the reason for their failure onto others.

The funny thing about all this is that latter on, us grown ups, start complaining about the younger generation how they are a bunch of wusses that can't handle life and its responsibilities. how these days kids are depressed and are cry babies when they are faced with failure.
News flash we created them that way, the reason we did that is that at one point we believed our own delusion that the world today is a much dangerous place than it used to be and we need to protect the younglings from it for as long as socially possible.

In fact the world is a much safer place these days, kids having a higher chance to live to their 20's than any other point in human history. Yes there are the occasional unfortunate events and stories, but it shouldn't be the case for us to confine our children even more every time we hear of another kidnapping, accidental death or whatever other news that makes you want to bubble wrap your child from the harms of the world. It's not true that those occurrences are more common these days than they were in the past, in reality the media these days are able to play on the parents fears and blow these stories out of proportions, and they are better equip to access and propagate such stories.

The right way to go about it is to equip the greenhorn to deal with life and all its ugliness, for without experiencing some hardship in life they will fail to appreciate its beauty and in contrast they will find it utterly boring and bland. They shouldn't be given mixed signals either, don't teach your child to be modest when you actually demand from him to be the best at everything regardless of the means. Teach them tolerance, and that everyone is special in their own way and they shouldn't be discouraged by failure it should server as their impetus to find what their specialty is.

For the time being I am happy that they are raising a generation of overtly medicated, deeply depressed, delusionally frustrated, safe players. who for their lack of acceptance to the harsh realities of life will remain eternally childish and not accept the responsibilities they are meant to shoulder. that in and off its self makes me happy because it guarantees that my generation, even truer to older ones, will maintain their edge over those child like adults for a lot longer than we should ! keep up the good job alarmist parents for am cheering for ya :D

~ Abigail Van Buren
hint: cryptogram I=I, K=T, and Q=O



  • If you want your children to feel their feet on the ground put some responsibility on their shoulders

    I hope I don't screw up with my daughter, I am scared wallah but I take it day by day.

    By Blogger 7aki Fadi, At 22/10/07 05:10  

  • I wish i can give you some reassurances like "it's all going to be ok" but honestly i wouldn't know better :P all can you can do is try i guess.
    and yup u got it right!

    By Blogger No_Angel, At 22/10/07 09:06  

  • I guess that while parents can be over protective, children these days are getting more love, security and support. That is a good thing because it helps them build their self confidence. Life hardship would hit them eventually, maybe now at a later phase of their lives than previous generations, but they would have better tools to face them.

    No I am not worried about next generation :)

    By Blogger The Observer, At 22/10/07 09:47  

  • "love, security and support. That is a good thing because it helps them build their self confidence"
    I think they get a bit too much, and they have way too much confidence in instilled in them that they are the best and should be the best.
    seriously have you looked at the way 14 year old west ammanis behave ? i think its a very entertaining exercise in how much you can spoil a kid !

    By Blogger No_Angel, At 22/10/07 10:04  

  • well u never know..but yeh kids are very spoiled these a days...inshallah khair.and yeh the ADD and ADHD crap everyone keeps on talking about..i have an overly active child and i always get the ADHD so sick of it!

    By Blogger Sam, At 22/10/07 16:24  

  • no-angel.

    when are you going to realize that hazarding sheep is the only thing you could actually do go back to your origins. your alienation has something to do with speaking and doing things you are not built for

    By Blogger Amre El-Abyad, At 22/10/07 17:37  

  • You know iam sure that if iever get to see in cairo - I will give you a good goat treatment.

    Tell me did your mama use to run after seep while she is having her robe tucked up LOL

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 23/10/07 17:47  

  • I forgot to mention. Soon there will be no such thing as Jordan, as the Israelian will settle the Palstinians there.

    Jodan is an artifical entity in the very first place.
    The has never been a country called jORDAN UNTILL SOME LIE 70 OR 60 YEARS AGO
    I wonder why hadnt the Israelians solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the very first place by redefing Joprdan as Palestine

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 23/10/07 18:10  

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