Thursday, November 01, 2007

observers, lions, helpers and goats... a look through the kaleidoscope

I was going to name this post perceptions but I have been posting too many single word titled posts, so I went with something more bamboozled.

It's really fascinating the faculty of our brains to fill in the gaps of what we think we see. Whenever we meet someone for the first time, we already have a grid in our brains for the things that we look for in people that we would like to know.
So as soon as we see as much as a shadow we blistery start forming and filling up that grid of ours, whether we like it or not (we try to not like it since its prejudiced and judgmental) all of us start churning our gears as soon as we something eye catching :)

It's always a challenge (atleast personally speaking) to put that grid and try to match it to the reality and see how you did. Lets face it, do we really want to spend the time to get to really know everyone we meet ? I'd like to think not, so that ability is fundamental social filter and being PC about it is just faking civility which is worse in my book that being blunt. (god there is this co worker that always start a conversation with "keefak sadeeqi (tr. how are you comrade)" while she definitely doesn't stand dealing with me"

The way others perceive us is a very important gauge to who we really are to the world. So for the past few years I started doing something that was fairly weird to people around, I'll go asking them "who am I?" with a series of question to highlight good points, faults, eccentricities whatever they are willing to share and for as long as they can bear me.

To not come off as a total boltless nutjob i limit it to a once a year fiasco. One thing I explain to them is that no matter what they decide to share I will not be offended and I will not hold their honesty against them (alas that is rarely enough reassurance) and some of the things you find out about your self are really interesting. especially the motifs they see in you, and some of the disinformation that you can't help but emanate which requires a bit of working on your self to clear up, call it tightening up you character bolts.

The main reason i do this is that, for the people I care about atleast, I would like the person that I know I am at this point to be as perfectly aligned with the person that other people see.

So while I was writing the last post about people who I interact with here I felt like doing that, I just thought it would be fun but on the other hand I am worried that people will get offended. So whoever might be offended or they just don't feel like sharing what am about to write please tell me and I'll remove it :)

The challenge is that moving online we lose facial expression which are usually more honest than the person would like to be, but words and especially the adjectives used are a huge indication to what type of personality an individual holds, well read ? inbred ? sociopath ? emo ? blond? you know what am talking about. factoring in some info, and the ideas they hold and you can connecting the dots... so shall we experiment ?
(the order is chronological btw and its of the people that I interacted with the most)

Summer
Zodiac according to bambam: Leo
Summer is definitely a unique breed, if am going to assign a personality type it would be a type 3 Achievers, Performers, Succeeders. a very healthy one at that, she is highly adaptable to whatever environment she is placed in and a social chameleon, and through it all she hasn't lost her own unique personality and has her priorities straight. the proof of her adaptability and courage in confronting the unknown is the mere fact that she is here ! its not an easy thing to tread the generations as easily as she does.

She is an extremely caring individual, and draws a considerable amount of satisfaction out of helping others and especially her family. I think who ever is in her inner circle a lucky person and it would be really hard to fall out of favor with her, not for dependability but because she genuinely cares and will attempt to set them on the course that she thinks is the best one for them with her very own style of gentle persuasion.

Just don't overburden her with bad news and depressing issues all at once, for you might get a glimpse of a total different part of her, not in the confrontational manner but in a longing for solitude attitude.

Through it all I think she can become highly preoccupied with glamor and sparkles, for she certainly likes the pretty things in life and can be highly particular about them. (excellent shopping company if someone else is shouldering the bill if you ask me :P)

finally I think although i didn't notice it at first, but she actually loves being with her family having a quite time at home, and she is certainly bashful or it might be just good old fashioned lady manners that are quite rare these days for me to be able to distinguish.

Seeker
Zodiac according to bambam: Libra
She is the most pure character two (Helpers, Givers, Caretakers) I know. Now she has the ability to genuinely care about the people around her to the extreme which makes her forget about herself quite a bit. Also being doubtful about she is capable off keeps her from truly trying and attaining her potential. shes susceptible to fall in a spiral of despair & low self esteem, don't be afraid to share your feelings when that happens. Its better to do so rather than bottling them up on the long run.
She undermines the amount of help she provides to others. you have an ability to relate to what other people 's needs and you are a very caring person.

The remedy to all that is reassurance, and if there is any criticism, its a must for it to be delivered in the gentlest of methods.
You have to eventually learn to say "no" sometimes, you have to set your priorities and take steps rather than trying to jump to goals. It's also OK to be selfish sometimes, you need to do things that you like to, otherwise you might risk being overburdened and drain from doing so much for others.

All that matters is to try, Its OK to have failures its not the end of the world and at the end of the day we won't appreciate success unless we can contrast it with out failures!

7aki
Zodiac according to bambam: Capricorn
She's an eight (Leaders, Protectors, Challengers)! with a character that refuses to be boxed ...
On the cover she is a life loving easy going person that likes to have fun, she can truly brighten anyones day. The hardworking type but prefers to do so in the shadows, not looking for much reassurance and fiercely independant, I imagine when she was a kid she never really did too good in school but when it came time for her to step up she shocked !
Also on the other hand she has a fierce imagination at certain points i feel like I found a real life calvin, and I bet as a kid she could see a Castle out of a blanket covering the space between two beds.
She's a goal setter and strive to get those milestones, although fleeting moments of hesitation regarding her abilities to tread that road occur from time to time and she will stumble but move on with life for its too short get strung up about such things.
I think she relies on first impressions when interacting which are not always aligned so I guess there were bitter moments due to that. Also sometimes her honesty has a bit of bluntness to it, and being honest i don't think she'll take well to betrayal or someone talking behind her back and if that happens you will forever be in her black book. Curiosity is certainly a driving force to be reckoned with her, and don't to step over some toes but on the other hand it earns her better allies and a more personal connection with people.
Oh and finally give her space to be alone and don't try to control her or she will rebel.

Observer
Zodiac according to bambam: Taurus
A vibrant and gentle soul, and is never seen angry. I think you are a character 9 (Mediators, Peacemakers, Preservationists) and I think if anybody has a problem with you will not be satisfied unless you atleast try to talk it through with them. I think at this point in your life after some(...) turbulence you have found peace in your inner circle and that gave you the guts to try to expand that circle. The weapon of choice being edgy and pushing the comfort zone to the brink, given that its not something innate in you even the controversy is laid out in a thoughtful and gentle manner.
Now what i really like about this is that i feel you have a tendency to inaction, and probably the easier path for you to take is to take non and do nothing to not disturb or piss off anyone but you choose otherwise. For you can see the two sides of any coin and you empathetic to both. Alternatively you haven't over come a slightly tendency to delay making big decision especially when you feel pressured to. Don't be too critical of your self and try to sort out what you really want(i think you already did) and go with it without being too pessimistic. I think some external encouragement and reassurance will take you a long way and I hope you genuinely get that

The other thing, which might be weird to me, is that you have an affinity to the physical realm, I think you don't exactly like chatting online for instance and would certainly prefer to meet face to face with people and interact with them there. So you maintaining a blog is different for you and probably you had to take it in steps to actually maintain it regularly.

Now there is a saying "2ihthar 2il 7aleema izza '3adeb" (*tr*beware of a gentle person if he got angry), and i think that describes you. It's not easy to anger you, and you are able to forgive others for their slights but if it happens that someone pushes you beyond your limits all rules fly out of the window. So I can't really imagine you getting angry

Kinzi
Zodiac according to bambam: Gemini
Enthusiast a character 7 without a doubt, a Puella. I would be seriously interested in where she has been and what she did, for am sure she has a volumes full of life experiences and she should seriously start writing a biography like right now !
Still pretty much a part of her, and unlike most people she has faced her past and moved on, now she is no longer chasing after experiences like she used to for she has set her self to be dedicated to one life long experience of following her framework for life based on what she's been through. So the focus is shifting for me & I to the we and us, but sometimes what she wants to do and what she thinks she should do are contradictory. Especially when it comes to self expression, given how I imagine her as a young rebel I admire the commitment that she has to play it safe.
some people fear showing their true intentions so they feign kindness, she is more likely to be more worried about people thinking that of her when her kindness is truly genuine. I think it does weigh heavy on her how people ascribe a lot of Ulterior motives to her behavior when as far as I see it is that she made revise one stereotype I had of a certain group of people or maybe she is an exception.
After searching endless she sees that she has found her purpose, I think even with the slightly tight grip on house rules her home is a warm and welcoming one. she will definitely go the extra mile for what she believes in which is also a departure from her fickle commitment to finish what she started and being spread too thin doing too many different things at once.

Qwaider
Zodiac according to bambam: Virgo
Am split to whether he is a character 5(Observers, Thinkers, Investigators) or 6(Loyalists, Devil's Advocates, Defenders), his pride and fort lies in his knowledge and others wanting that knowledge. On the other hand there is certainly boundaries to which that acquired knowledge can impede on his traditions and belief system. Its a lot harder for him to stretch those boundaries for the single reason that he sees no purpose in that.

He certainly has a considerable amount of knowledge, and always tries to base his remarks based on that. Which to some might seem like he is flaunting it but I think he sees it as it provides his the credibility to say what he did.

He is a person that relishes system, give him a system and he will follow it to a T. Its what provides him security, he is committed and hardworking. On the other hand when confronted with random happenings that are outside the rules he might overreact and be indecisive and procrastinate for the fear of failure. So its not a natural ability for him to gauge his reactions in his relationships, and he might lost some friends along the way but on the other hand the ones that stuck with him he is faithful to them and a source of aid.

Fear for him stems out of insecurities, things that happened aren't forgotten easily and can linger for a while. If any of those are exploited there is no guarantee what might be unleashed on the perpetrator so i will stop there...

Now I tried my best to side step any land minds as much as possible, so there is no reference to any personal history, acts, religious affiliation, or any other thing that might earn a label or be called skeletons, laundry or baggage. Even though i already wrote my perceptions of everyone here am not going to post them without your permission. thats why only summer's is visible cause i already asked her and if there is anything you want me to remove and more than willing to do so.

Oh and yeah i know that its not your zodiac probably and you don't believe in that maybe but I just felt like putting it up there since i like to guess those, a pet peeve of mine (which I suck at btw).

Please am not doing this to start any wars or create rift am just trying to call it as i see it, and no am not a sycophant am just doing what i felt like doing you can call me selfish. so skip the name calling if you please

ENJOY!
grr.. hopefully
and no puzzle today since i don't have any in mind after writing this
ps. nour i haven't interacted with you much hence i couldn't come formulate anything :)

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17 Comments:

  • Bam Bam, thanks! fun read. :)
    Thanks!

    By Blogger Summer, At 1/11/07 21:13  

  • oh oh oh post me post me :D .

    By Blogger 7aki Fadi, At 1/11/07 21:52  

  • Go for it mah man ... go for it. I'm open for business!
    Khod ra7tak

    By Blogger Qwaider قويدر, At 1/11/07 22:23  

  • By the way, in real life I'm a Libra :)

    By Blogger Qwaider قويدر, At 1/11/07 22:25  

  • BamBam, great take on Summer! So is that from your own observations, or do you really know enough about charting horoscopes that you can peg it?

    I'm not offended at all (even though the Zodiac thing is a part of my witchcraft story). I do get concerned when people plan their lives around their sign, or use it as an excuse for being difficult. But I'm not a Gemini. Another guess? :)

    I'm into MyersBriggs Temperament tests, did you take one of those on my blog (or ever?)?

    Your search for matching the inner with outer person reminds me of the Johari Window.

    By Anonymous kinzi, At 1/11/07 22:43  

  • Thank you .. really for the analyses. I'm not sure (or unsure) of how valid it might be since (as you said, the mind plays the connect the dots mind trick on us) and there might be a full dimension between two dots! But that's how fine our kaleidoscope can see!

    Thanks again, that was very entertaining. I like the part about "unleashing hell" :)

    By Anonymous Qwaider قويدر, At 1/11/07 23:04  

  • :7aki looks behind her back to make sure that bambam is REALLY not there:

    This was spot on Bambam , it's so spookily close! Except for the first impressions thingie, maybe it plays a little role but not the sole determinate factor for me.

    This was fun! Thanks :)

    Pssst I am a Pisces, and a Dragon

    By the way, who is Calvin?

    By Blogger 7aki Fadi, At 2/11/07 01:23  

  • ppl sorry about screwing up everyones zodiacs but i kinda said i sucked at guessing them :P
    summer ur welcome :)

    kinzi lol kinzi no am not into charting and zodiacs, although I fit my zodiac character profile quite well. the other thing i can stomache zodiac personalities but not fortune telling so no witchcraft here just observation and some amateur psychology.
    yup there you go (by the way am ur total opposite and i think i got the same as ur hubby or so u told me INTP/J) , what am talking about is similar in nature to MBTI and actually most of the time they are intertwined but am more familiar with this than that, i'll add the test for you to go over and check if i got it right or not...
    and i'll have to look into Johari Window sounds very interesting.

    qwaider you are more than welcome, am glad that you have enjoyed it.

    7aki *phew... almost got caught*
    hehe spooky spooky, just in time for halloween (btw did u guys dress up ?)
    7aki shame on you for not knowing Calvin & Hobbes, no prob go herehere to this site and behold

    Thanks for letting post this :) now i might be pushing my luck but i guess you already read the others and compared notes :P

    By Blogger No_Angel, At 2/11/07 15:01  

  • here is the link since the one i posted earlier for calvin and hobbes didn't work

    By Blogger No_Angel, At 2/11/07 15:05  

  • See I did google it and I got Calvin and Hobbs but wasn't sure it that :).

    I was sick for the Halloween party and missed work that day :( , but my daughter was sleeping beauty and my husband was a Jedi master with cape, saber and all.

    By Blogger 7aki Fadi, At 2/11/07 16:57  

  • Couldn't you come up with anything for me?? One thing will do..I love this :)
    Well at least you remembered me , thanks..May be next time :)

    By Blogger Noura, At 2/11/07 22:00  

  • Ezodiac - Free Daily Zodiac , Weekly, Monthly Horoscope, Astrology, Zodiac,Love - Matches only at www.ezodiac.info.

    By Blogger ezodiac, At 2/11/07 23:13  

  • Bambam (^-^)Thanks for the post, psychology is very logical and very much fun,, i had fun reading all of them and i think you come accurate in readings,,

    where is mine? would you please post my part xD?? eplease eplease? you dont need permissions :P

    By Blogger THUNDER, At 3/11/07 02:18  

  • Bambam, Thank youuuu (^-^)the positive stuff are sweet,, but on the other hand being a two is not a good news, but its true,, i hope being aware of it would prevent from being out of proportion

    well don't you think we (Kinzi, Summer, 7aki, qwaider, Observer and me) should write our piece of analysis on you hehehehe?!!!

    By Blogger THUNDER, At 3/11/07 05:02  

  • That was amazingly accurate about me :). I think that you were good in reading my character. I am a peace maker I guess. I feel headache with noise around me, that is why I try always to calm things down, and if there is somethin I dont like, I try to change in a sharp and direct way without making a big noise out of it, and if it caused a big roar, I know how to just dismiss it and re-establish peace.

    I am not sure about your last paragraph. I dont think that I can be that bad when I get angry. So dont worry about it.

    As for you, I think that you are a pretty serious person. You have a good heart but try to show people otherwise, maybe that is why you pick no angel name.

    You find difficulty in communicating in simplicity :). You have this style of putting it down while expecting others to fill in the blank. It can be a good mind work out, but it can be hectic as well.

    Thanks for the analysis :)

    By Blogger The Observer, At 3/11/07 12:16  

  • 7aki so sorry to hear that, being sleeping beaty doesn't sound like ur gonna have much fun ...
    so what was the plan ? you being leia :P
    and yeah calvin is the best strip ever.
    noura yup yup, next time it is :)
    thunder(where did u come up with this anyways?) hehe only the good stuff :P and sure you are all welcome to give it a shot
    observer hehe glad you approve of my reading.
    hmm yeah i do tend to be pretty serious yup, but atleast i try to lighten up sometimes.
    Its not that i try to show ppl otherwise its just that am easily misunderstood when i communicate just like u mentioned, i see it as being rough around the edges.
    favorite method of communication is circumlocation, so its hard for me to be simple in what am saying ...
    thanks and you are welcome

    By Blogger No_Angel, At 3/11/07 16:56  

  • bamboozle: i wanna play :jumping up and down:

    make up something for me lol even tho u donno me :D i love anything zodiac related :yai:

    By Blogger PŕōuđPāŀĩ, At 4/11/07 13:26  

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